Over-Thinking is Under-Rated

My friends have been trying to tell me for years that my over-thinking is holding me back. I have spent many sleepless nights considering the matter, and reached the conclusion that it’s not.

According to most Spaniards, though, “dejarme llevar” –going with the flow, should be the solution to most of my problems.

 “You’re reading too much into this, how about relaxing and going with the flow?”

To which I say: A la mierda with the flow! Dejarme llevar can go to hell. Whoever is asking my mind to relax clearly doesn’t know my mind.

People, meet my mind. Mind, meet people.

My mind does NOT fucking stop. Ever.

My mind is always on the lookout for genius ideas. My mind comes up with awesome theories. My mind finds strange connections and beautiful metaphors. 

My mind is brilliant.

My mind is a right bastard.

My mind hasn’t always got nice things to say to me. My mind expects the worst from people. My mind likes to argue with friends when they’re not even there. My mind is a spoilt brat that gets super active right around bed time. My mind even makes it a mission to ruin special occasions:

“-Hey Soph, how much was that massage?

-40€, Mind. Now shut the f*** up.

-40€ for 40 minutes? Well, 10 minutes must have gone by now, right? 15, even -who knows?  That’s like 15€, isn’t it?

…

-Soph, are you here? You must be nearly half way through by now. Are you feeling even half relaxed? You’re still looking tense. There isn’t much time left…

-Shut up mind.

-So you said 40€? How many hours do you have to work to afford this?

-Shut up mind.

-Oh, and on a different note… Do you think the masseuse cares that you haven’t shaved your legs?  I think she just flinched. Just saying.

-Mind, please go blank.

Blank

...

-Naaaaah, only joking! So, how long is left, do you think?"

So I’ll be honest with you. I gave up on keeping the bastard silent. I’ve chosen a different approach that I call cooperation. Learning to embrace it for what it is, but not let it mess around too much. I let it do its own thing most of the time. I try to keep it busy and distracted, so it doesn’t pick up fights with me or other people. I let it wander, or do what it does best: restlessly analyse everything. 
It’s a handful but so rewarding sometimes: you wouldn’t believe the things it comes up with! 
If it didn’t exit, I’d have to invent it. 

At times though, I just know better, so I make sure I don't let it control everything.

"Alright Mind, now shut up and let me sleep."

"Or... you could just write an awesome blog post about me."

Oh well. At least I try.