Flat-Hunting Fun

If I’d started this blog when I originally intended to -when I first got to Sevilla, I would probably have written down about different things; and I would have talked about them in a very different way. So somehow, you should consider yourself lucky I saved you all the marvelled and slightly naïve first impressions and the “Today-I-went-to-the-Alcázar-and-it-was-niiiice type of comments. That said, I did go to the Alcázar the other day and it wasn’t bad at all. But let’s not deviate from the point. 

One thing I wish I’d been able to write about as it happened was the flat hunt. The thing about flat hunting is that it sounds like a lot of fun, but it really isn’t –not until you move in and remember the stories anyway. We get fooled by the many TV shows into thinking it will be exciting viewing lovely apartments and that the hardest part will be to have to pick the nicest and decide on the new curtain colour. But as you begin looking for “A place In the Sun”, the reality of flat hunting in Spain hits you in the face right from making the first appointment. 

For starters, you are forced to come to the realization that your Spanish sucks even more on the phone than in real life. Admittedly, it isn’t much fun either to be reminded how little you earn. However, after a few disasters, and promises that I would get rung back (surprise surprise, I didn’t!) I learnt to keep a straight voice the whole time through, and pretended I understood everything. 

“Tuesday at 11, at the corner of a street which name I think I understood and another street that you spoke so fast I didn’t get??………   Sure!”  

After all, there are only 3 junctions on that road so, say they get there on time and wait for me 10 minutes, if I run quickly up and down the street, I should be able to find them right?

To everything else I didn’t understand, I just replied, 

“Not to worry, we shall discuss this when we meet”. 

In hindsight, this may have been a bad idea. Some people really charge an awful lot of fees.

Then, the “fun” part begins:  the Viewing Part, also known as “Spot the Differences” or “Comparing Reality with the ad/photos from the Internet”.

Flat #1 did have a piano, but no one wrote about the weird smell or mentioned that the balcony overlooked a noisy street.

Flat #2 was a small duplex with a tiny kitchen. A pleasant surprise was the peaceful traditional patio. And some famous artist was born there.

“You have to focus on things that do matter”, my friend Victor told me. “A patio may look nice, but you won’t be living in it. What should matter is whether the flat has several windows and plenty of natural light, whether the bedroom is separate from the kitchen so it doesn’t smell everywhere when you cook, and of course, it should have all those things you want like an oven and a freezer."

 So, armed with sensible down-to-earth advice, I carried on the flat hunt feeling more focussed than ever.

The man who showed me flat #3, #4 and #5 was just too overconfident. Flat #6 was way above my means. Flat #7 had an interesting layout, as casually pointed out by José the agent:

“If you step through the shower, you can access this very nice balcony.” 

Well, I’m sure that there are people in this world who just want to be looking at the cathedral while scrubbing their body parts. Unfortunately for José, I wasn’t one of them.

At the corner of the street, I effortlessly found the lady from flat #9, but she failed at answering basic questions. That didn’t matter though. I ruled out the place the second I spotted the cockroach spray on the kitchen surface. I thought I’d been clear about living alone.

Flat #10 didn’t have a window in the bedroom. Flat #11 was narrower than a corridor. And flat #12 was a small but cute studio apartment.

When choosing your flat for the 1^st time, it’s important to listen to your local friends’ advice. So after I signed the contract for flat #12, I met up with Victor to share the good news.

“I just got myself the nicest apartment!!!”

I was more excited than I had been in weeks. So Victor was happy for me of course. “Great, he said. Is it big? Does it have a separate bedroom?”

He noticed my blank expression… “Is it bright? Does it have a freezer?".

“An oven at least??"

And as I kept shaking my head, “Then what?”

So I said the truth.

“It just has a very nice patio.”

It’s important to listen to your Spanish friends´ advice. Sometimes though, your heart tells you otherwise. I now have the cutest flat in a gorgeous patio with flowers, plants, benches, and all the noise from all the neighbours echoing around in a big Spanish symphony. The little dog from across. The man skyping next door. The gossip from the ground floor, the religious brass music from the first. The lady climaxing from… No, I don’t need to know where!!

So what? I can proudly say I achieved my goal of living alone before I turned 30 (a goal I cleverly made up after moving in, so I would sound successful). And when I wake up in my cute little apartment and walk the two and a half steps that separate the bed from the cute little kitchen, I have this big smile on my face. Then I open the window, smile some more and squeeze a few oranges.